What Really Matters? Advice For Someone Smart Enough To Understand

What really matters? Below is a reminder from a couple of people who have been here before. Hopefully there is a lesson or two for you.

If you take a moment from being busy & productive and just look up, maybe you too will see what is really important in life.


“I’m 76. My high school and college classmates are dropping like flies. My time is coming fairly soon. I’ve had a varied and active life from stealing food from hotel corridors to survive to owning 4 successful companies and retiring at 49 to backpack the world with my kids. 35 was my best year. I was young enough to do it all and smart enough to see the traps ahead of me.

One thing I wish I knew back then, not just philosophically, but at the basic level of my soul: It doesn’t matter. Nothing really matters. There is no point to all of the pain, stress, arguments, hassles, and the rest.

I can buy a Lambo for cash and have my clothes custom-made, but I drive a 2,000 Toyota 4Runner with 242,000 miles on it, my pants are almost as old as my sons, I wear shoes I bought in 1999 that still have miles on them, my favorite food is spaghetti, and I tossed my smartphone six year ago. It drives my sons nuts. They want my wife to buy me a new Toyota Sequoia, a smartphone, and something other than the $9 tee shirts I get off Amazon.

But I learned something years ago, long after my 30s: It doesn’t matter. None of that stuff made me happy. It gave me pleasure, but pleasure fades and the darkness falls unless you are happy at your core. I am. So, I’d have liked to know not to take life so seriously. It cost me my first marriage and bad relationships all over the place because I tried to grind my way up the “ladder of success”. And it didn’t mean a thing.”

Source: Marlon Brandy on Quora

“100% true and profound based on my own life experiences. I worked for a man who is swimming in money and sinking deeper and deeper into unhappiness.

I have been in third world countries where there was no money, and there was pure heartfelt happiness. I have been betrayed by FALSE friends, used financially and emotionally, stolen from, manipulated, deceived and left for dead.

I interview people and ask them to define “success”, it is as if I asked them to define the “atom”, the only answer they have is “money”. People have made character , ethics, integrity and honesty an under valued waste of their time.

It reminds me of the 5 Life Regrets published by “Hospice International”, these are the regrets of people who are in the last hours of theirs precious lives, they are poor, middle class and mega rich, they all have the same regrets, if you take nothing of value from this post, TAKE THIS.
#1 I wish I would have had the courage to share my true feelings with people.
#2 I wish I would have been true to myself, rather than everyone else.
#3 I wish I would have spent more QUALITY time with my family and friends.
#4 I wish I would NOT have worked so long and so hard, especially doing things I did NOT want to do.
You notice there is NOTHING about success, money, materialism and soul mates. When it comes to climbing the success ladder of LIFE, you better make damn sure you are not really climbing DOWN.”

Source: Gary King


Theresa May -v- Jeremy Corbyn Popularity Poll

Find out how many of your friends like May -v- Corbyn below.

It will only show who is more popular on FB but it still comes down to voters and the voting machines.

63 May -v- 148 Corbyn for my friends.
(390k May -v- 991k Corbyn Likes)

Note: This is just a Facebook popularity rating and you know how much opinion & crap is on the TV, Newspapers & internet.


Do you want to build and grow your network or community?

bobby-gill-marketing-skills6 years ago Simon Zutshi asked me to work with him to create and grow the online media presence of property investors network ‘pin’.

He’d seen me online and knew I was active within various online communities, as well as hosting my own events – in Property, Business and Internet Marketing.

I’d been doing online marketing for a long time and active on Facebook using paid Advertising (since 2008) before a lot of the big corporates were even aware of online marketing.

I’d also helped at and supported many personal development events, from local YES Groups to bigger Tony Robbins UPW events and similar.

As well as booking speakers for events, it was important for me to provide outstanding customer service to attendees as well, as I’d been to too many events where the organisers lacked integrity and each person was just a ‘lead’. Things sometimes do go wrong and we all make mistakes – but when no-one takes actual responsibility for actions, service suffers and so does ‘word of mouth’ (and now social media posts) about your company.

People will remember how you make them feel and if you care enough to provide excellent service, which is more than just ‘good enough’. (Thanks to Graham Hill, Regional Director – Buckinghamshire & Bedfordshire of Shopper Anonymous for that reminder yesterday #FSB)

People are the most important part of any community or business.

Working with pin was a good fit, as one of my biggest values is that people should have a good time and feel valued. I would be able to help create that community online.

When I started with ‘pin’, I took on the task of creating and building the online presence of the property investors network across various online platforms and company websites. This grew from a few meetings to 50+ meetings and I was responsible for maintaining their online presence. Once I’d systemised all this, it became easier to scale and grow the online exposure.
The online marketing was all bootstrapped but has grown to a successful and large presence, had I bigger budget to work with I’d have done an even better job.

I also provided training & support to pin meeting Hosts on how to best use social media effectively, to connect with people and increase exposure for the meetings they ran in their local areas. Another task I took on was to keep on eye on the online reputation of Simon Zutshi, the company and the meetings.

As well as the online social media presence, I supported the Mastermind community by making sure information was easy to find on the forum and help them out with any queries they had, whether it was my ‘department’ or not. Either I’d sort it out myself or find the best person to help them.

All your clients (and team) are important, especially those that have paid for first class support.
This belief is what enabled me to provide the best service I could whilst at pin for many years.

In my spare time (Entrepreneurs don’t take evenings or weekends off, unless they want to take a holiday) I would also support on other events and help other Property education providers, as long as there was no conflict of interest.

After being there for over 5 years, it was time to move on.
So I have now moved to Milton Keynes. Why you ask? Why not?
It is closer and easily accessible to all the places I usually visit, from Birmingham & London being within 1 hour or so drive.  It was also good for a fresh start and to work on some new projects.

I’m now looking for a new challenge.  
Are you in property, personal development or a business related field and want to improve your service and/or reach? 
Or maybe you just want to create a community to share your love or hobby? 
Even if your idea is to start a Nicolas Cage Appreciation Society, get in touch.

If you have a business and no time to do it yourself, then why not give me a call and see how I can help.  My past experience and long-term view will help save you and your team many hours and tens of thousands by setting up things right to start with.
As I did when I advised a new property education startup earlier this month on the best way to set up and move forward.
The digital landscape has changed a lot in the last few years again, so don’t think that trying to copy someone else will help you remain ahead anymore. It’s not just what you see at the front end that counts but how it is managed in the background that matters.

You can find out more and contact me on Facebook , Twitter and LinkedIn

I also prefer to work with people I know, so if this is of interest to you, read the mini-CV below and get back to me if I can help you in any way 😀 👍

[full CV available on request]


Solutions focused Systems & Operations Freelancer looking to contribute extensive experience towards supporting progressive organisations in optimising their performance. Through increased efficiency by systemising, making things simpler by automating frequent processes, serving clients and having happier customers by meeting their needs and over-delivering on expectations.

My background is in Engineering, Property, Systems, Networking and Training Events and Social Media/Digital Marketing.

Engineering has given me an analytical background and project management skills which come in useful with jobs that require attention to detail and planning.

I have been involved in property investment and education since 2001, learning valuable lessons through boom and bust, and know many of the experts and trainers in the UK.

Attended a lot of personal development, business and entrepreneur seminars and paid for high-end coaching over the last 10 years.

As well as attending these events, I’ve also set-up, organised and hosted networking events, as well as helping out and crewing for many training courses.

Extensive background in social media and online marketing, website design from SEO to funnel creation, including paid marketing and CRM.

I’m more than competent in a lot of fields, although not a self-proclaimed expert or goo-roo. I realise I can always learn more and be better at everything. I’m a polymath (Renaissance man) with curiosity and many hobbies, talents and areas of interest and expertise, therefore I have a wide knowledge base that I can draw on and use in other areas to solve problems and for success.  I can explain what needs to be done in simple language, by removing fluff that some experts use to complicate things to justify their position.  I will listen to your ideas and recommend creative solutions & improvements.  I offer highly professional consulting and honest opinions and feedback, always acting in the client’s best interest.


So if any of that is of interest, contact me today on Facebook , Twitter  and LinkedIn or call if you’ve got my number and not rung me for a long time anyway. Always happy to meet up and have a chat.


Hillary Clinton -v- Donald Trump Popularity Poll

Find out how many of your friends like Hillary -v- Trump below.

It will only show who is more popular on FB but it still comes down to American votes and the voting machines.

63 Clinton fans -v- 620 Trump fans for my friends.

Note: This is just a Facebook poll and you know how much opinion & crap is on the internet.


Happy Days, Moments, Feelings & Memories

Why I don’t celebrate/do Birthdays in the traditional sense… and where I’m at now.

My new year usually starts on my birthday, when I reflect on life, where I’ve been and where I’d like to go.

What is it about birthdays and completing another full orbit of the Sun from the first day we are born and see it? Some people enjoy them, others don’t.

The day of birth itself, of a star child choosing to be born on planet Earth, should be enough in itself and the only ‘birth day’ of importance or consequence.

First we want to have as many birthdays as soon as possible, in a rush to grow up, then we wish time would slow and we’d have longer to make the orbit.

Too many people then start to count and worry about the orbits that they have around the fire at the centre of our solar system (that we barely know anything about, never mind the rock that we stand on).

Shouldn’t we be more concerned about what we do with the time we have than the ‘time’ passing by?

So why don’t I celebrate birthdays?

(You can substitute birthdays, with Christmas, New Year, Valentines Day or any holiday where you’re made to feel you can’t be alone and/or made to feel that you must buy stuff for others to show you care).

Well birthdays (holidays) are supposed to be wonderful days with energy focused on them and everything happening as you wish. But how often didn’t the day go to plan, someone let you down, nobody showed up, you didn’t get what you wanted or something horrible happened?

Was it more often than something amazing happened on that day?  Wishes weren’t fulfilled, hopes weren’t met creating an unpleasant memory.

The problem is expectations. Reality can’t always meet them. And these days are ‘meant’ (pressured) to be perfect through expectations, wishes and others telling you.

Yet all the other days of the year without the expectations often turn out pretty well if you let them, without attaching so much emotion. Many of them are pretty outstanding if you think about it.

Oh, another reason I don’t enjoy them much is a lot of these days happen in Winter for me – a time when it’s cold, wet, miserable and as other sensitive people that are tuned in and affected by the environment will tell you; it’s just a nice time to be indoors, less social, relax and hibernate as nature intended.

So I don’t value birthdays as much as others do, hence I may not remember yours or wish you a happy one.

That does not mean I don’t care about you – or think about you more often than once or twice a year.

It’s the idea of the birthday itself I don’t value as opposed to the people that have them 🙂

I’d rather see you, meet with you and laugh with you any day of the year – to make it worthwhile and memorable.

With regards to gifts, people usually give others what they themselves value highly and would like.

As a recipient, it is your job to just be grateful for the thought and person doing the giving, no matter what you get (or don’t).

Yes it would be nice to communicate what you like and get that – but gifts are about giving, not the item itself.

You’ve probably heard about the ‘five languages of love’, which is a nice thought to please other people, so you are speaking their language, with gifts being one of them – but there is something called ‘real love’ that is unconditional.

‘Real love’ doesn’t rely on people doing the things you want them to, you are just grateful and love them for who they are, as they are, for doing the best they can and being their true selves.

So, what did I do for my birthday?

The day before I went to finally watch the new Star Wars reboot.

A quiet matinee showing at a time I chose, in a quiet cinema.

(It’s great not following the media and society to need to watch/do things when they want you to)

I received a food hamper of ‘healthy-ish’ snacks from my sister, that she chose.

My current diet suggests I don’t eat a lot of the stuff but I needed the calories so tucked in (I’ll cover that in a moment)

I also Skyped my nephews in Canada (aged 6 and 9) and told them I’d bought them tickets to Star Wars for my birthday and my sister would take them.

(I hadn’t but if they’d been here I would have taken them. Yes they enjoyed the film!)

On my birth day I went for a local pub lunch with my parents and uncle – because that’s all I wanted to do.

In the evening I went to the supermarket to get some milk for the following day and some food. Not very exciting but it also beats getting drunk and hungover!

(Which was expected as a teenager, in your 20’s and unfortunately for the rest of some people’s lives if they haven’t learned or matured much since)

The following day, I got back to the gym and did 40 laps.

New years resolution is start getting fit and healthy again, something I’d stopped doing after getting ill in late Autumn.

Did I need more stuff to be happy? No. Just to do some nice things that I wanted to do.

One of my better birthday weekends to be honest.

I usually don’t tell/remind people it’s my birthday but I’d not been well recently so it’s the first time I’d left it on my FB and left my status open for people to leave messages, as I could really use that extra ‘juice’ and goodwill to get over this last hurdle.

I wasn’t expecting the first-time messages from ‘networkers’ cloaked as gifts and self-promotion – or people I’m not even sure how they got on my friends list, good time to have a purge I guess!

I do appreciate everyone that has sent a card, gift, message, good wishes – and I also appreciate those of you that didn’t, for still being there for me when I need you.

Of course birthdays aside, I’m still grateful for EVERY day I wake up and there’s no wood (of the ‘coffin’ variety as opposed to ‘morning glory’)

A few years ago my life and health started fluctuating, getting worse just before this Xmas but now on the mend. Like seasons, it was just a time and phase we all have to go through to some degree at different times in our lives.

Losing my business, work, home, health, relationships and having ’nothing’ was a humbling experience. Although one I would never want to wish away as if it never happened.

I remember a friend who I worked with that used to say “If only they had my problems and me theirs, then they wouldn’t complain!”

I’d reply that everyone is fighting a hard fight and has challenges and we should be grateful for just our troubles – and not wish them on anyone else or ask for theirs.

It is in those low moments of visiting nothing, where you find out what is real.  I say visiting, as some people forget and stay there leading to severe depression and worse.

This of course did lead to depression (which can come in many forms) and is also known as “the dark night of the soul.”

The reason people have problems is because they think it’s only them and don’t share them, with the aim of getting another viewpoint and solution (as opposed to having people give you attention and ‘feel sorry’ for you.)

Tell someone, talk about it, ask for help and be prepared to accept it.

Most people won’t judge you as they have similar problems themselves.

You just have to be vulnerable and put yourself out there.

On top of that my nerves were shot as well and I literally had no energy… I’d lost my ‘mojo’  🙁

Stomach issues, meant I was not travelling much and the simple social interaction of meeting for lunch or having a drink was difficult – so I wouldn’t.  It also meant I’d inadvertently found a new rapid weight-loss plan (being ill is definitely a plan I wouldn’t recommend).

Not wanting to get up on a morning or leave the house, which rolled one day to the next.

I thought it was life and stress that was causing a clear out of all the shit in my life.

I tried all sorts, from homeopaths, nutritionists, acupuncture, chinese herbal medicine, meditation, Qi Gong, psychic surgeons, intuitives etc.. all with no permanent solution. Just a knowing that I would be well again soon.

Being near a bathroom was my biggest concern… too much information?

Having to do a Usain Bolt beating 100 metre dash at a moment’s notice was priority most of the time.

Well I finally went to the hospital in the New Year and put my faith and trust in the doctors. I had a camera up my bum and down my throat (different cameras, not the same one!) to finally give me the all clear. Now is that too much info?

I did ask if they did souvenir DVD’s for me to upload to Youtube but they don’t (now that would be too much).

Funnily enough I’ve been feeling much better since. I think they give you the hospital food and procedures so you DON’T want to stick around!

It was a great experience being unwell, as although I may not have got all the answers I needed to help me, I learned loads and probably gathered enough info to help people with their random problems.  When we have a challenge in our lives, it forces us to look at it and find the lessons we need to learn so we can move on.

Now if birthdays aren’t important to me, what is?

Moments are what is important.

I’d rather have more magical moments, feelings and memories than revolutions around the sun. It’s special moments that make it all worthwhile.

What is a moment?

When you are happy, grateful and enjoying yourself.

Be it alone, in nature or with other people.

All we need to do is share a smile, hug, a few kind words to create a moment and memory that you can cherish. It doesn’t have to happen at a particular time, it can be anytime and even when you least expect it.

‘At the end of the day people won’t remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.’ – Maya Angelou

There used to be a time when I’d catch up will people all the time, I’d even jump on a plane if I’d promised to be somewhere to meet someone.

I realise I’ve not seen or spoken to a lot of people but that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten you or not thought of you. I know everyone else is going through their own challenges, so expecting them to be part of mine would have been unfair.

Well I’ve started to get my energy back and the mojo has returned.

So it’s time for me to make amends for my extended absence and give solace to others.

– So now, if you want to catch up and chat, about anything, from life, health, relationships, love, depression, personal development or fun times. Send me a message.

I’ll even help you find your mojo if it’s been missing for a while!

– If you want to meet up to talk about your properties, business, online marketing, then you can buy me lunch and I can help you make/save money.  I used to do free Skype calls but after putting in many hours helping people (because I wanted to), I found it strange that if I asked them to take 5 minutes to write me a two sentence testimonial, I wouldn’t hear back.

Not that it was an expectation, it just made me wonder if people valued my time if I didn’t value it.

Hence now you’re going to have to come to me and at least buy me lunch if it’s a money related discussion you’re after. I love to help, so would do it for free – but it’s good to be fed and eat as well.

I know I need to get out more and I’m sure you do too! So give me a shout.

The great thing about varied life experiences is that everyone has a lot of experience to draw upon and learn from, as well as share with other.

Also once you’ve been in some dark, strange, weird places in life, they make great stories that you can laugh about afterwards.  A sense of humour is a must to survive life without going completely mad.

This invitation is open to any of my friends I know, have spoken to, met in person or chatted online. So if that isn’t you, it would just be weird.

Also I’m not suggesting you invite me to any ‘business opportunities’ or ‘cult meetings’ (as much as I secretly enjoy such things and a good social), I like to be told in advance where I’m going.

Don’t worry my rants aren’t as random/mental in real life (or are they?)

I like to get my thoughts out of the way on my blog when I can, it’s a safe place for them and believe it or not they’re edited as well!

Remember think about anything you want, while you still can – before thinking is made illegal!


Anyway, I’m not going to wish you a happy birthday in advance or later – I just want to wish you HAPPY DAYS as often as possible.

See you soon and lets create some memories,

Bobby 🙂