Category Archives: Life

Stress management and how to Beat It!

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How Heavy Is A Glass of Water?

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, “How heavy is this glass of water?”

Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”

He continued, “And that’s the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won’t be able to carry on.”

“As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we’re refreshed, we can carry on with the burden. So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don’t carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you’re carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. Relax; pick them up later after you’ve rested. Life is short. Enjoy it!”

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Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:
• Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.
• Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
• Always wear stuff that will make you look good, if you die in the middle of it.
• Drive carefully, it’s not only cars that can be “Recalled” by their maker.
• If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
• If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
• It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be kind to others.
• Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won’t have a leg to stand on.
• Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
• Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
• The second mouse gets the cheese.
• When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
• Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
• Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
• We could learn a lot from crayons . . . Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull.
Some have weird names, and all are different colours, but they all have to live in the same box.
• A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today.

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Since we’re on the subject of water… aren’t you feeling a little thirsty and want a sip?

Here is a word from our sponsors, remixed, to lighten your day :-)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3veOHRNXvU

Finding and Keeping A Life Partner by Dov Heller

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Here’s a great article brought to my attention by Jairek Robbins

Well worth a read for those in relationships or not. If you think about things up front you have much less to worry about later.

Bobby :-)

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Rule # 1 – MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON AND 90% OF YOUR PROBLEMS ARE SOLVED

The article below would be useful for both the married and unmarried ones,
please take some time to read.

FINDING AND KEEPING A LIFE PARTNER
by Dov Heller, M.A.

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one
wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it
appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding
Mr./Miss. Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they’re getting married,
they’ll say: ‘We’re in love’; I believe this is the ..1 mistake people make
when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love.
Though this may sound ‘not politically correct’, there’s a profound truth
here.

Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a
good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will
come. Let me say it again: ‘You can’t build a lifetime relationship on love
alone’; You need a lot more!!! Here are five questions you must ask
yourself if you’re serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION ..1: Do we share a common life purpose?

Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you’re married for 20
or 30 years, that’s a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to
do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to
share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.

Two things can happen in a marriage: (1) You can grow together, or (2)you
can grow apart. 50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a
marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life! Bottom line;
marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION ..2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this
person?

This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling
safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having
good communication is trust i.e. trust that I won’t get ‘punished’; or hurt
for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines
an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your
thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you
feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION ..3: Is he/she a mensch?

A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you
test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a
regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of
mine defines a good person as ’someone who is always striving to be good
and do the right ‘;. So ask about your significant other: What do they do
with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic
person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.

There are essentially two types of people in the world: (1) People who are
dedicated to personal growth and (2) people who are dedicated to seeking
comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal
comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before
walking down the aisle.

QUESTION ..4: How does he/she treat other people?

The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the
ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person
pleasure.

Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they
wrapped up in themselves and self absorbed? To measure this, think about
the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice
to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc.. How do they treat their
parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they
don’t have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you
do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone, who treats others
poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION ..5: Is there anything I’m hoping to change about this person
after we’re married?

Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of
trying to ‘improve’ them after they’re married. As a colleague of mine puts
it: ‘You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the
worse’ If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then
you are not ready to marry them.

In conclusion, dating doesn’t have to be difficult and treacherous. The key
is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It
pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask
questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a
great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on our finger, you don’t
want to find yourself trouble because you didn’t do your homework.

Another perspective…There are some people in your life that need to be
loved from a distance.. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you let
go of or at
least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not going
anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you. Pay
attention…Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and
which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which
ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better
or feel worse? Which ones don’t appreciate you? Which ones make you feel
good, praises you, boosts you with loving and caring words or annotations.

The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth
around you…the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in
the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

An African proverb states, ‘Before you get married, keep both eyes open,
and after you marry, close one eye’; Before you get involved and make a
commitment to someone, don’t let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance,
pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs.
Keep your eyes open, and don’t fool yourself that you can change someone or
that what you see as faults isn’t really that important. Do you bring out
the best in each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other,
or do you compete, compare and control? What do you bring to the
relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust,
past pain? You can’t take someone to the altar to alter them. You can’t
make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem,
spiritual discernment, and ‘a life’; you won’t find yourself making someone
else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Seeking
status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG IS:
1. TRUST
2. COMMUNICATION
3. INTIMACY
4. A SENSE OF HUMOR
5. SHARING TASKS
6. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes, etc.)
7. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS
8. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE
9.GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT
10. CONCERN AND CARE FOR YOUR LOVER IN YOUR OWN WAYS.

If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment
withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain will replace.

By Dov Heller, M.A. www.ClarityTalk.com

“The more we understand our feelings, the more we understand ourselves”

The Little Soul and The Sun

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Click above on the link “listen now” to have it read to you on Bobby’s Blog. May take a few seconds to load.

This parable is taken from the book Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch.

I was looking for it the other day and here it appeared when I needed it most.

Please read and buy the book if you enjoy it >> The Little Soul and the Sun

Bobby

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Part 1

There once was a soul who knew itself to be the light.

This was a new soul and so, anxious for experience. “I am the light” it said. “I am the light”

Yet all the knowing of it and all the saying of it, could not substitute for the experience of it. And in the realm from which this soul emerged, there was nothing but the light. Every soul was grand and every soul was magnificent and every soul shone with the brilliance of God’s awesome light. So the little soul was as a candle in the sun.

In the midst of the grandest light, of which it was part, it could not see itself, nor experience itself as Who and What it really is. Now it came to pass that this soul yearned and yearned to know itself. So great was it’s yearning that God one day said, “Do you know little one, what you must do to satisfy this yearning of yours?”

“Oh, what, God? What? I’ll do anything!” the little soul said. “You must separate yourself from the rest of us” God answered, “and then you must call upon yourself the darkness” “What is the darkness, o Holy One?” the little soul asked.

“That which you are not” God replied and the soul understood. And so this the soul did, removing itself from the ‘ All ‘ going even unto another realm. And in this realm the soul had the power to call into it’s experience all sorts of darkness. And this it did. Yet in the midst of all the darkness did it cry out, “Father, Father, why hast thou forsaken me?” God replied: “Even has have you, in your blackest times. Yet I have never forsaken you, but stand by you always, ready to remind you of Who You Really Are; ready always ready, to call you home.

Therefore be a light unto the darkness and curse it not. And forget not who you are in the moment of your encirclement by that which you are not. But do praise to the creation even as you seek to change it. And know that what you do in the time of your greatest trial can be your greatest triumph. For the experience you create is a statement of Who You Are – and Who You Want to Be.

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Part 2

God said to the little soul, “You may choose to be any Part of God you wish to be. You are absolute divinity experiencing itself. What aspect of divinity do you now wish to experience as You?”

“You mean I have a choice”, asked the little soul. God answered, “Yes. You may choose to experience any aspect of divinity in, as and through you.”

“Okay,” said the little soul, “then I choose forgiveness. I want to experience myself as that aspect of God called complete forgiveness.” Well this created a little challenge, as you can imagine. There was no one to forgive. All God had created was perfection and love.

“No one to forgive?” asked the little soul, somewhat incredulously. “No one,” God repeated. “Look around you. Do you see any souls less than perfect, less wonderful than you?” At this the little soul twirled around and was surprised to see himself surrounded by all the souls in heaven. They had come from far and wide throughout the kingdom, because they heard that the little soul was having an extraordinary conversation with God.

“I see none less perfect than I!” the little soul exclaimed. “Who, then, shall I have to forgive?”

Just then another soul stepped forward from the crowd. “You may forgive me” said this friendly soul “For what?” the little soul asked. ” I will come into your next physical lifetime and do something for you to forgive,” replied the friendly soul. “But what? What could you, a being of such perfect light do to make me want to forgive you?” the little soul wanted to know. “Oh,” smiled the friendly soul, “I’m sure we can think of something.” “But why would you want to do this?”

The little soul could not figure out why a being of such perfection would want to slow down it’s vibration so much that it could do something ‘bad’. “Simple,” the friendly soul explained, “I would do it because I love you. You want to experience yourself as forgiving, don’t you? Besides you’ve done the same for me.” “I have?” asked the little soul. “Of course, don’t you remember?

We’ve been All Of it, you and I. We’ve been the Up and the Down of it, and the Left and the Right of it. We’ve been the Here and the There of it, and the Now and the Then of it. We’ve been the Big and the Small of it, the Male and the Female of it and the Good and the Bad of it. We’ve been the All of it.” “And we’ve done it by agreement, so that each of us might experience ourselves as the grandest part of God. For we have understood that… ‘In the absence of that which You Are Not, that which you Are, is Not’.

‘In the absence of cold you cannot be warm, in the absence of sad you cannot be happy. Without a thing called evil, the experience you call good cannot exist’. ‘If you choose to be a thing, something or someone opposite to that has to show up somewhere in your universe to make that possible.’ ” The friendly soul then explained that those people are God’s Special Angels and these conditions God’s Gifts.

“I ask only one thing in return,” the friendly soul declared. “Anything, Anything,” the little soul cried. He was excited now to know that he could experience every divine aspect of God. He understood now, The Plan. “In the moment that I strike you and smite you,” said the friendly soul, “in the moment that I do the worst to you that you could ever imagine – in that self same moment…remember Who I Really Am.” “Oh, I wont forget!” promised the little soul. “I will see you in the perfection with which I hold you now, and I will remember Who You Are, always.”

Neale Donald Walsch from The Little Soul and the Sun

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And should we ever forget who the other soul really is and who we are, we are destined to repeat it over and over again until we remember. Learn the lessons quickly so you can move on and experience what life has to offer. Bobby

The Little Soul and the Sun << Get it from Amazon here.

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Part 3 (from another source)

“Good,” said the Friendly Soul, “because, you see, I will have been pretending so hard, I will have forgotten myself. And if you do not remember me as I really am, I may not be able to remember for a very long time. And if I forget Who I Am, you may even forget Who You Are, and we will both be lost. Then we will need another soul to come along and remind us both of Who We Are.”

“No, we won’t!” the Little Soul promised again. “I will remember you! And I will thank you for bringing me this gift ~ the chance to experience myself as Who I Am.”

And so, the agreement was made. And the Little Soul went forth into a new lifetime, excited to be the Light, which was very special, and excited to be that part of special called Forgiveness.

And the Little Soul waited anxiously to be able to experience itself as Forgiveness, and to thank whatever other soul made it possible. And at all the moments in that new lifetime, whenever a new soul appeared on the scene, whether that new soul brought joy or sadness–and especially if it brought sadness–the Little Soul thought of what God had said.

“Always remember,” God had smiled, “I have sent you nothing but angels.”

45 life lessons

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45 life lessons and 5 to grow on

“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me:

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?”

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative – dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come.

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.

49. Yield.

50. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”

Source: Regina Brett, Columnist for The Plain Dealer

What are we missing every day…

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“A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousands of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist.

Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the top musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written,with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston and the seats average $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station

was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty?

Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?”

In spite of the fact that he used his outstanding ability to the full and performed some of the most intricate music ever written, only a few people even noticed the maestro and even fewer stopped to listen. The article notes:

No one knew it, but the fiddler standing against a bare wall outside the Metro in an indoor arcade at the top of the escalators was one of the finest classical musicians in the world, playing some of the most elegant music ever written on one of the most valuable violins ever made. His performance was arranged by The Washington Post as an experiment in context, perception and priorities — as well as an unblinking assessment of public taste: In a banal setting at an inconvenient time, would beauty transcend?

Journalist Gene Weingarten was awarded a Pulitzer Prize for Feature Writing for his outstanding and thought provoking analysis of the experiment. Weingarten discusses the ramifications of Bell’s subway experience. What role does context play in our artistic perceptions? To what degree is our perception of beauty influenced by our mindset at the particular time we perceive it? He notes:

It’s an old epistemological debate, older, actually, than the koan about the tree in the forest. Plato weighed in on it, and philosophers for two millennia afterward: What is beauty? Is it a measurable fact (Gottfried Leibniz), or merely an opinion (David Hume), or is it a little of each, colored by the immediate state of mind of the observer (Immanuel Kant)?

Read the full article and see some clips here: Pearls Before Breakfast

Is this violinist really that much better than any other; if his music can not snap people out of their daily trance? If he is, what other things do we miss every day as we rush about our lives, full of seemingly important things that need to be done.

There are diamonds in the rough, everywhere, if you just take a while to take a closer look. And maybe to hear the truth, you just need to stop for a moment; close your eyes and really listen.

Bobby.